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| i'm hearing about a friend's conquests. in a little bit too much detail. | | |
| North Pole Security located child size elf bones behind the reindeer stables. While NPS insists that they are following leads, but that no suspects have been arrested, most of the suspicion seems to fall on the flying monkeys. "They was real hungry," says one of the groundskeepers. "We couldn't get em enough fruit, so they fell back to meat. Which is more nourishin in this climate anyhow." The flying monkeys are refusing to comment, but their silence does not seem to be helping the escalating hostility from the elves. "Little Tearnook was just the sweetest little elf baby you ever laid eyes on." Sobs his Aunt Jubeln. "He never did anything wrong to anybody. He just laughed his twinkly laugh and spread Christmas cheer." | | |
| So now the flying monkeys are more expensive than the candy canes were in the first place. And an elf child has gone missing. And the flying monkeys have stopped talking. | | |
| On the advice of the Evil Queen, a close personal friend, Mrs. Claus has hired the flying monkeys to replace the traditional flying reindeer on Christmas eve. However, a high profile source in Santa's workshop reveals that this might not solve the North Pole's problem. "The Big Man has a terrible fear of Monkeynucleosis," says the high profile source. "And he was never a fan of Oz cause of it. Last night we heard him shouting at Mrs. Claus (and he never raises his voice to her) that he would rather let all the children go without gifts than come within a mile of the flying monkeys." But Mrs. Claus has already hired the airborne primates, and they're demanding more fresh fruit in a day than the whole operation has access to over an entire year. There are whispers of rebellion - in the strike breakers! | | |
| Sources in the north pole report that Santa's elves are on strike because their candycane benefits were recently taken away. The source adds that while Mrs. Claus has brought in strike breakers, the reindeer are also holding a sit-in in support of the elves. While it is assumed that Mrs. Claus will be looking to hire strike breakers to replace the flying reindeer, no one is sure who could possibly replace them. Will Santa be able to deliver his presents this Christmas eve? No one is sure. | | |
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